Tips from The Book

Here are Michelle’s must know flirting tips from her book.

  • If it isn’t fun, it isn’t flirting
  • A great flirt never says or does anything they can’t back out of gracefully
  • Keep it playful, never sleazy and obvious
  • Learn to listen well – be interested rather than trying too hard to be interesting
  • Be sincere rather than clever and give genuine compliments
  • Making eye contact is a great first step, maintaining eye contact is the key to flirting success
  • Ask lots of questions
  • If you confuse flirting with seduction, you’ll strike out more times than you get lucky.
  • The best flirts make you believe the only agenda they care about is yours
  • Flirting is a great way of getting what you want in a way that makes other people happy to give it to you.

In a bar, you often have to rely on body language, so try Michelle’s top flirting moves from the book:

  • A casual scan of the room when you first arrive is a talent stock take. You are not making eye contact with anyone specific. The lock and load is eye contact targeted at someone in particular and signals interest.
  • Prolonged eye contact is made and the gaze is held, repeat this a few times.
  • Smiling is a great way to acknowledge someone. You’ll always get a positive response, it’s non-committal and still effective
  • Parading past someone and making sure they look at you grabs their attention and focuses it on you. Once they signal interest, it’s up to you to focus all your attention on them.
  • Brush past someone in a crowd. Stay connected for a little longer than necessary and combine your ‘apology’ with a head tilt, eye contact and a smile.
  • Look like you are having fun, laugh and be playful.
  • Tilt you head to one side, if the person you are trying to attract mirrors you, it’s a signal they are feeling connected.
  • The hair flip is an attention getter. It says, notice me.
  • Stroking, fondling or caressing an object can be sexually suggestive like running your finger around the top of a glass or up and down the stem of a wine glass. Nobody will miss the message you’re sending.
  • If you have got as far as chatting to someone and want to know if they are interested in you, lean towards them to say something, then lean back and see if they lean towards you to close the gap.
  • Touching someone is like saying to them ” Forget everyone else, focus on me and what I’m saying.” It’s a potent signal and can be non-sexual and useful in business or highly seductive, it’s all in the delivery. In business or if you don’t know someone well touch them on the elbow or the shoulder (not the thigh) while saying something positive.

Socially, or in business, you want to create the right impact. No matter where you are or who you are with, you want people to have a positive response to spending time in with you. You can maximize the positive impression you create by understanding how people will respond to you.

Read more about Michelle’s book, Flirting 101.

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